i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize