I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
