I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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