are you still at the devil's house?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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