if only i could text you this smell
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
