Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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