Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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