pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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