it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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