You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
