zippers are such a cool invention
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
