This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
