need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
