I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
