i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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