so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
