Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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