goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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