you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
