Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
