Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
