drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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