Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He has the fingertips of a God
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
