lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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