btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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