how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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