when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
