Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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