just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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