Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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