I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize