You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
