Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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