I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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