Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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