this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
