Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
