He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
