just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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