Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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