The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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