I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
