hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The air taste purple.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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