I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize