Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
