I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
