I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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