then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
