i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize