It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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