I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize