Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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