Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
