I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
