He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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