I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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