MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
