I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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