I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I am available for nakedness
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
