Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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