I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
