I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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