Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
